Up side Down English - Ozzy Rules

I'm no wizzard of Oz

I suppose we could expect things to look and feel a bit different from the land Down Under the equator, as there is no big dipper in the sky, and the moon looks down on us with a sideways smile. Certainly he has plenty to smirk at, as we fumble through a new country. Perhaps I can blame, the change in gravity for confusing and turning me around. The water circles left as it makes it way down a drain, they drive on the wrong side of the road and you turn a light off, by flipping the switch up? I thought it would be easier merging with this English speaking culture, but I find myself lost in casual conversation, always searching, for a correct interpretation. Am I laughing at the wrong time? Do I nod or shake my head in agreement or disbelief ? Wouldn’t something bloody be bad , why is everything ‘f-in right’ when It‘s all left to me, and how did I know that a Bonza night would lead to a rippah hangover?
I’m sure that I’m still speaking English...But what the heck are they saying anyway?

You think you know English? Play, This weeks word game, and tell me how you would get along the first day in Australia? Contestants with a score of 5 or more, win a postcard from the land down under.

Play… “Up Side Down English…Ozzy Rules”

1.) Can a toilet get engaged?
2.) Is a guy unlucky to marry a, fair dinkum shela?
3.) True or False: A Barbie is a ridiculously thin and voluptuous doll?
4.) A milk bar is: a.) ice cream bar b.) convenience store c.) Dairy factory d.) Breast feeding
5.) Would a little’ rippa be expensive at an op shop?
6.) True or False: A bloody oath is a promise sealed in blood?
7.) If the country is obsessed with footy will they need more socks?
8.) Asking for a stubbie will get you: a.) cigar b.) beer c.) tv remote d.) limbless person
9.) True or False: You would find a child insistent on a thunder box when he has ran out of video games?
10.) If your driving on the left side of the road, steering from the right side of the car with the stick shift on your left and making a right hand turn, do you veer into the right or left of the lane before executing the right hand turn?

The correct answer is:
1.) YES - Turn the dial to green for Vacant or red for Engaged
2.) NO - A “fair dinkum She-La” is a really good catch of a lady
3.) FALSE- But you can show up with a thin and voluptuous date as long as you remember to bring some sausages for the grill.
4.) B - You can't even buy a beer in this bar
5.) NO - You’ve just found a real deal at Thrift Store
6.) FALSE- Simply add “Bloody” to any word for emphasis or agreement.
7.) YES - As a matter of fact, the sport of Ozzy football calls for extremely comfortable feet
8.) B - Grab me a stubbie would be asking for a bottle of beer
9.) FALSE- You would find a child insisting a thunder box if he’s outback needing a bathroom.
10.) Veer LEFT and wait your turn to execute a “Hook Turn” to the right. And boys and girls, don’t try this at home or anywhere outside the Australian continent.

How many did you answer right?
(1-3) You’re an obvious tourist (4-6) You’re still fumbling
(7-9)You’re now a local (perfect 10) You’re a cheater

Disclaimer: Odds of winning this game are one in a million unless you’ve been hanging out with Richie. Contestants must be 2 years of age to play, and not a Wiggles groupie. If you are from or have relatives from Australia you are not eligible to play. Ok you can play but you can’t win.

Tune in next week for More from Melbourne…

(Having a wicked time here in Australia. Will post again soon but for now we're headed out camping with the newlyweds) Toodle- Loo