Australia on Wheels

Driving Miss Daisy -
As I ascend into the beautiful morning sky, with a lump in my throat and another in my pocket, I gaze through the oval window of the airplane and see Daisy below. She looks fantastic in her new red coat, but lonesome without me. Glancing once more, sadly I realize that I will probably never see her again.

When I first envisioned a trip to the land of Oz, I pictured us touring the outback in a state of the art motor home, designed by humvee We’d have all the comforts of home and still be able to forge rivers only Crocodile Dundee would attempt. So, back to reality and an old Volkswagen budget, traveling these highways and byways of Australia would take more logistic planning. Our research showed our transportation choices to be:
A.) Flying (too expensive and you miss everything in between)
B.) Trains (Strangely twice as expensive as flying)
C.) Buses (Too rigid a schedule and on the same tourist trail we try hard to avoid)
and finally D.) Renting a campervan (An option we’d consider)

Australia has a multitude of motor home and campervan rental agencies to choose from. Within our budget most popular, is called Wicked Vans. These are older tradesman vans that have been converted to campervans with a bed and some old camping gear thrown in. These vans are unique because each one has a different wild paint job. Some are painted with rock band or cartoon graphics, others remind me of the 60’s when LSD influenced many of the van paint jobs. Since Brenda wouldn’t be seen in many of these outlandish vehicles, (especially the ones that have a distorted Avis to Anus “We like it harder” company logo on the back) we decided that buying a van, would be cheaper than renting and our most economic option. We’d use it as our home and transportation, then sell it at the end of our Aussie travels.

A perfect plan!

I’ve bought and sold many vehicles at home so this should be a piece of cake. With our Aussie friends’ advise and the use of his car to explore Melbourne’s many suburbs, we were on a quest to find the perfect van. But, there are all kinds of new Aussie rules to contend with, in the used car market. An exhausting week later we were still struggling with insurance, inspections and interpreting thick Aussie accents saying things like, “No worries mate, you’ll get used to that” when third gear popped out at 40mph, or vans with smells that your dog would stray from. We were getting kind of worried until our luck finally changed from lemons to roses.

There she was, a rose in a bed of thorns. A fine vintage 88 Mitsubishi express van, flawless creamy white exterior with windows all around. Fresh and clean inside and completely empty except two front seats. She probably lived a plush city life as a delivery truck, and there were some dried up flower petals under the seat, we’ll assume she delivered flowers and call her Daisy. Daisy has a 5speed tranny bolted to a 4 cylinder petrol burning engine that turns almost fully treaded tires. Every light, button, knob, and switch works perfectly plus her past partner kept a diary of immaculate service records. She’s love at first sight and the price is right. But I still had to see if I could rev her up and make her purr? Unlike the aggressive salesmen in the states, we had to seek out a lazy lot attendant to take Daisy for a ride. He simply handed me the key, and we were on our first date. It’s my luck that our Aussie mate had a certified Mitsubishi doctor friend, just a few blocks away. While on our test date, we pulled in his shop and he examined all her parts. He confirmed, “She’s in great shape for an old gal who’s been around the block.” The only thing she could have a problem with at her age, is a timing belt, (and I was thinking we all could use a new belt at this age.) He could re-belt her tomorrow, and I said, “Lets do it.” A short ride back to the dealer to do the paper work, and our three month affair began.

With some retrofitting, Daisy became our home on the road. With a trip to Bunnings warehouse (Aussie's Home Depot) we bought the materials to make a bed, kitchenette, storage areas and mounted additioanl water tanks on the front. Next we began to gather tools, camping supplies, bedding, ect. from Melbourne’s Opp Shops (Oz version of thrift stores) and soon we were ready to start our new life together. Three months with Daisy went too fast as all our travels seem to do. I gladly lubricated her moving parts and in return she kept us protected from the elements, warm at night and delivered us safely to each destination along our 10,000 km journey together. As we spent all our mornings, days and nights together, Daisy took on the characteristics and comforts that make up a home, making it difficult to think of ending our relationship.

Now at our final destination, and plane ticket in hand, reluctantly I understand she has to go. It’s time to sell out.
However it’s not as easy as we think. The cold winds of winter that followed us up the coast, have pushed many other self propelled tourists to the same warm, backpacker mecca of Cairns. It is now a buyers market, with many desperate plane ticketed travelers all needing to sell their beloved Aussie exploring vehicles. Every hostel and public notice board in town, is weighted with flyers posting, “Must sell my exceptional campervan NOW,” and prices slashed well below market value. I learn from locals, that after weeks of disappointment, other despairing travelers were abandoning their vehicles at the airport. Of course, it was a dream to profit from my beloved Daisy, in order to finance our next adventure, but my dream is over. Now, it’s time to get serious and try to recover something, rather than loose it all.

The strategy is in place. Bren, makes really nice flyers to accompany all the other nice flyers and we spend days posting all the bulletin boards in town. The internet classifieds are covered, and finally we get Daisy all dolled up, accessorize her windows with colorful For Sale signs and place her in town where the backpackers hang out. On the third day, my hand phone rings. No one ever calls me here in Oz, so it must be for Daisy. I answer, “Hello” Her suitor questions, “Is this the owner of the van for sale?” I confirm a bit too excited, “Yes it is!” With authority he informs, “This is constable Lester and you are breaking the town council law of selling a vehicle on public land. You will have to remedy this situation now.” Frustrated, I concur “Yes sir!” Holy crap, the days progressively are getting harder.

Our next plan is forming and early in the morning we take Daisy looking her ‘Sunday best’ out to the old drive in. All the other hopefuls in town have their shiny and new vehicles lined up for the Cairns Sunday Car Market. Sometimes it feels good to be in the same boat with other people. This time it feels like the Titanic. There are plenty of people trying to sell their campervans, but nobody in town is buying campervans. After a long day, it turns out to be a good party anyway. We meet nice people from all over the world agreeing that misery does indeed, enjoy company. Driving away discouraged, I have a vision looking down from an airplane window. Parked in front of the airport with keys dangling from her ignition, and my finances dangling close to extinction, Daisy appears to be a very expensive date. I call the airlines and add another week to our ticket. We’re not quitters. We will find the right match. Sure we will. Positive thoughts will create positive things.



With the advertisement in the weekend paper showing no results, the car market a failure, the internet full of spam and the bulletins boards filled up, we take a day off and make a trip up the mountain with our friend. Dutifully leaving Daisy near the highway, but far enough from the town center, we feel confident of good exposure without pestering constables walking by.
Half way up the mountain, my hand phone rings. I answer more apprehensively this time, “Umm, Hello.” A stern voice asks, “Is this the owner of the van for sale ?” Gulping I say, “Umm, Yes.” He introduces himself, “My name is Peter and I’m looking at your van on the side of the road. Did you know that the council has taped a warning to the wind shield? Besides that, it looks nice and clean. Would you be willing to take $4000 dollars cash for it, and sell it today?” I can’t believe it, but answer, “Ya, I guess so.” If this Peter guy is real, than we will get the same price we paid for Daisy, a much needed surprise. Making arrangements to meet later, I hang up the phone and begin thinking ahead. I realize without Daisy, I won’t have a bed or a home this coming week. Suddenly the pain of parting with her is becoming a reality.

Wait, my hand phone rings again. It must be Peter changing his mind. “Hello“ I answer. It’s a new suitor on the line and he asks, “Is this the owner of the Mitsubishi van for sale?” Not sure how to answer the question, I reply, “Kind of.” He tells me, “I saw it in town the other day and it looks perfect. Would you be willing to take, $4000 for it?” When it rains, it pours, and when it blossoms, it flourishes. This new, knight in shinning armor, wins over Daisy. We negotiate a delay in sale, so that we won’t be homeless while waiting for our flight. I am completely convinced that, positive thoughts do create positive things.

So with the relief of a job well done, and no worries, we get to enjoy a week doing all the things other carefree backpackers do. We bike, hike, swim, fish, have pies, and go for dives. Then, the day comes when we have to take Daisy to her new guy. He has arranged a fresh new makeover for her, and I’m proud that she will have an easy retirement, living at the Cairns International Airport as a service van. A week later as I watch her disappear, I notice that she’s already lost her girlish look. Daisy has taken on a distinguished appearance as she’s been re-coated in bright red with a sleek jet plane logo on her side. Even though I still catch myself looking at other cute, little Mitsubishi’s, my heart remains loyal to Lil’ Miss Daisy.
The one who was simple but stylish, small but strong, always dependable and against all odds, stuck to her values.